A Little Help?

Sophia's feeling a bit left out recently since Jaxson arrived.

I would love your suggestions for a great mommy-daughter outing. Stop by I'm Not the Nanny and share your ideas with me. Thanks!

Pamper Time Can Lead to More Sex

When I was at home stretch of my pregnancy with Sophia, many moms kept telling me to get lots of sleep and "me" time. I laughed because I figured that sleep with a newborn was overrated. Or that I totally knew what I was doing as a first time mom and get lots of sleep. HA!

I didn't realize how much me time (or pamper time I like to call it) was hard to come by when we decided that I would be a work at home mom. I thought that being a mom also meant to devote as much as my time as possible to mothering my baby. WRONG. It made me crazy. Add that to post-pregnancy hormones, breastfeeding, and lack of sleep. Yep, I was a bitch, with a capital B.

Thankfully my hubby realized before I did that I need time away from him and the baby. Back when she was little, it involved a one woman date with my iced mocha and some art magazines at Borders Books.

Nowadays, pamper time involves a super hot bath (I'm cooking the baby, as hubby jokes) with the latest bubbly concoction or bath salts I've acquired. The most important part of this is a pile of magazines. I'm a totally magazine whore. I love reading magazines. With a 3 year old keeping me busy, the short articles in magazines are about how I long I can focus on reading. Sometimes if I'm being an overachiever, I'll listen to some crafting podcasts while I read magazines.

So I run my bath, light candles, and load up on O. Magazine, Martha Stewart Living, Entertainment Weekly, Wired, Discover, Smithsonian, and whatever else I haven't read yet. I might only get through 1 or 2 (if I'm lucky) magazines, but it's the potential, right? When the water gets cold, I'll let out some water and add more hot water! I soak and read until I'm all pruney. I try to do this at least once a week.

Every woman needs something they love to do outside of kids and life partners. By spending time doing something that you love that doesn't involved your family, you are showing them how important it is to be your own person. Not to mention that they'll appreciate you more.

I'm a big advocate of pamper time, and bring this up at every Passion Party I do. Pamper time is especially important so you can transition your brain out of mom and housewife mode for "I'm hot and sexy" mode. Who wants to worry about dirty laundry or unloading the dishwasher while you're trying to get it on with your lover? That's definitely a mood killer.

I know sex isn't the most important aspect of a marriage/relationship, but it's definitely at the top. Sometimes when you're parenting young children, sleep might seem sexier. Intimacy will help you reconnect with your partner. Having sex makes you want more sex. Crazy, right? Plus it burns calories, bonus! If you need extra motivation, pick up a fun lotion, lickable goodie, or battery operated helpers to try out. The anticipation of trying them out makes great foreplay!

Do you have pamper time? Or me time? What do you like to do?

Photo via Dennis Wong

Three is Too Young for Raccoon Eyes

Anyone have a princess obsessed preschooler? Sophia is as girly as you can get. Princesses, pink, and now, make-up. I've bought her those 99cents sparkly clear flavored lip gloss from the local Target, but never anything else. And yes, I've even painted her nails for her.

I'm not a make-up kind of gal. Yes, I do own some. If I remember, I'll wear make-up to my Passion Parties. I have to throw most of my make-up away because it's too old.

But no real make-up. Not even kids play make-up. I mean, 3 is too young for make-up. Tonight she didn't want to go to sleep. Hubby checked in on her and instead of seeing our beautiful sleeping child, he saw a raccoon.


Thank God for washable Crayola markers. She thought she was pretty clever until I told her to look in a mirror. "Oh, it's horrible!" with the drama only a 3 year old can give.

Then, I remembered a very timely tip on Parent Hacks. Use old make-up cases and nail polish to make fake make-up. Unfortunately I purged my make-up collection back in March so all I had left was this clinic eye shadow case. Since I know I've owned it for waaaay too long, I scraped out all the eye shadow and filled it in with obnoxious nail polish colors.


Hopefully it'll dry by tomorrow and my little princess will have some pretend make-up. Keep your fingers crossed that she likes it.

My Kid Is Adorable Too!

Since I live far away from most of my family (my sister lives near me) and my husband isn't Vietnamese, I try to expose Sophia to as much of my culture as possible. Thankfully, the DC area has a large Vietnamese population so food is easy to find.

Yesterday we attended a local Tết Festival. Tết is the name of Vietnamese Lunar Year. (Everyone calls it Chinese New Year, which is really annoying since other cultures celebrate it too. But I digress) Tết is a fun celebration. You get to wear new clothes, eat great food, and the best part, you get special red packets of money from your elders, called lì xì. At the festival we were able to buy bánh mi, egg rolls, and the lucky new year bánh chưng. All comfort foods for me and newly loved foods for my husband and daughter. YUM!

My mom even bought a traditional áo dài for Sophia to wear. For the Adorable Kids Contest. That's right. Adorable Kids Contest, cash prize of $50! Sounds fun and innocent enough right? So we registered for the contest, got our number tag (#12), and waited offstage for our turn. All the kids had to do was walk on stage and answer a few questions. What is your name? How old are you? Did you want to sing or show off your dress?

Sophia is a natural performer. If she sees a stage, she'll jump up and put on a show. She was very excited to walk on stage (all by herself, she told me). She did a great job and was very adorable. She decided to sing one of her favorite Vietnamese songs. Everyone laughed and applauded. She loved it! My mommy brain thought, oooh, she might have a chance at winning.

I guess I was a bit too naive about the "contest." It really was a mini-pageant. There were 4 and 5 year olds wearing make-up along with their áo dài. They even had props! Who knew carrying a basket of fake fruit made a kid more adorable? One girl even recited a long philosophical poem in Vietnamese! I doubt the 5 year old even understood what she was saying.

Don't forget the stage moms! As we waited, there are harshly whispered coaching (in Vietnamese of course). Smile! Don't step on your dress. Hold your fruit basket on the side so they can see your pretty dress. Don't step on your dress!
There were only 4 or 5 stage moms out of the 20 kids in the contest. Was I out of my element? I just wanted Sophia to have fun. Costumes? Props? Poetry? Thank good nothing had been choreographed.

Ever since Sophia was born, many people (strangers too) have told us to put her in modeling. DH and I decided that if she wants to model, she can decided when she's old enough to make a good decision. Participating in this contest reaffirms our decision. Even at 4 & 5, even 3, I think kids can totally sense that how they look to others is more important when they are in pageants (or "adorable contests"). Even more important than what their moms think. The judges decide if you are adorable or not.

That's too young for a child to evaluate her self-worth. Especially girls. What are we teaching our children by putting them in pageants? Your cuteness is what matters? Who cares if you're smart, artistic or can create the Eiffel Tower with your blocks? What does it teach our boys? Girls should be put on display and judged by their looks? I know that it's prevalent in our culture, but why not take these early years and instill in our children confidence and self-love?

Everywhere we go, people stop and tell Sophia (or me) how beautiful she is. They gush even. I've been teaching her to reply, "I'm smart too." Now she gets so excited when she learns something new. She runs to me, proudly proclaiming "I'm so smart mama!" I know that might change when she's a teenager, but I'm laying down the foundation now so it'll be easier for her.

Sophia didn't win the contest, but she had no idea it was contest. She just wanted to sing and dance on stage, especially since there was a large audience for her. Guess who won? Not the girl with the fake fruit. The one who recited the long philosophical poem. And though there were other biracial contestants there, why did I get the feeling that Sophia never had a chance? But that's another blog post.

One girl even recited a poem in Vietnamese! I doubt the 5 year old even understood what she was saying.