Day 18: Being present

This morning I finally did something I haven't done in over 3 years. I had a complete physical. I know. It's horrible. I hate the blood work (hate needles). Trying to find a doctor I liked. At least I got my year pelvic, right? Not only did they take blood today, I got a tetanus shot. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I could feel the vaccine spread out in my arm after the nurse administered it. Of course now it's sore. But I got my physical. Doc even gave me something to try for my sinuses.

I like the new Doc. She went over my history with me and called me boring. Ha! I'm glad my medical history is boring.

I'm not always very good at being present. I'm always planning and plotting on what to do next. Becoming a mother has forced me to slow down and enjoy the moment I'm in. Sophia wasn't a very good napper at the beginning. Or rather, she didn't have a regular nap time. I always wanted to work while she was napping: answering emails, making phone calls, packing orders, etc. But because she didn't nap at the same time everyday, I couldn't really plan out my day.

If I felt antsy or kept looking at the clock while I tried to put her down for her nap, I would start getting cranky. I kept thinking, it's been twenty minutes. She needs to sleep so I can work. I would become impatient with her. Even though it was no fault of her own that she didn't nap regularly. It was who she was.

I found that the days I just went with the flow and followed her lead for naps, I felt calmer, more peaceful. So now, instead of laying next to her during nap time and wishing would fall asleep ASAP so I can , I snuggle up to her, grab my book and just listen to her breathe. Or toss and turn and throw her leg on my boob, but that's kids. It's a nice quiet time for me too. And normally she falls asleep with 15 minutes (on a good day).

Then I can go about my day. Being present does make life less frustrating.