Day 8: Turning Points

Day 8 begins Water Week. We're being reminded to drink a lot of water as well, which I did not do enough of. Today's focus is the turning points in our life. What events have empowered or dis-empowered us that influenced who we are now?

I thought about this as I drove to my parties. For a while I was stuck, because I just couldn't narrow it down to one. Then I realized, that's ok! Life is a journey, and like any path, has many twists and turns.

The event I kept coming back to was my decision to marry my husband. We started dating my freshman year in college. He did the chasing and I finally gave in. We had our usually ups and downs, just like any relationship. However, my parents did not know he was part of my life. Even after 3 years, I did not tell them about him. Why? My parents did not want me to marry a black man. A white man was acceptable, but not preferred. This caused a rift in the third year of our relationship. Hubby understood why I was not ready to tell my parents (my sister knew and supported us), but I think underneath he thought I was exaggerating the consequences.

My senior year in college, we had a long distance relationship. I proposed to him over the phone. (Yep, I sure did!) When we became engaged, I felt ready to tell my parents. It sounds counter-intuitive, I know. I didn't want to rock the boat unless I knew for sure that this was the man I wanted to grow old with.

When I told my parents, they were very upset. They didn't speak to me for many months. They begged my sister to convince to leave him. It was a rough time for me. Family is very important to me, even though my mom and I hardly ever see eye to eye. They didn't even decide to come to the wedding until the month before.

Even though it was a hard period of my life, it made me realize that I have to choose my path in life. I'm responsible for the decisions in life. Of course I had rebelled against my parents before, but this was BIG. I no longer felt dependent for their approval. If you know anything about being the first born in a Vietnamese family, you know how hard this is to overcome.

I get to choose what paths I want to take in my life. And I have to deal with whatever the results are, good or bad. Good thing this decision worked out. We've been married 6 years, together for 12.